Reflections

Where to start!!!  I love updating on Ava and our life with her but I also wanted to really share some reflections on our experience now that we've been home for a couple weeks.

Reflection on Adoption:
When we returned to America and spoke with our agency director he told us that in his 15 years of working in 10 different counties, our adoption was the most difficult one they have ever done.  That being said, we would do again in a heart beat knowing how INCREDIBLY worth it it was in the end.  I thought I had a passion for adoption before we left for Kaz but after meeting Ava and all the other amazing orphaned children in Pavlodar, my heart for orphans around the world has only grown.  I don't know what this will look like in the future for us.  We certainly can't afford another adoption at the moment but I know that God will use our heart for adoption to impact the His children in some way.

Spiritual Reflection:
James and I have both had a relationship with Jesus Christ since childhood.  We've commited our family to him since the day we were married.  This adoption experience shook our faith to the very core.  We experienced doubt and anger, confusion, and many emotions towards the Lord that we had never experienced or felt before.  This was soooo hard!  Through it all we learned many lessons in faith and prayer.  Now we are able to see how God worked in Ava's life through the time we were separated from her.  He protected  her health, kept her safe, and provided her with wonderful caretakers.  God also used that time to develop in me my love for creating.  Sewing and crafting are talents that God developed during that time and I am excited to have found a hobby that I enjoy so much and that can help a bit with finances for our family as I stay home with Ava.  God is good...all the time.  Even when we can't see it! 
 
Reflection on Kaz:
It breaks my heart to say this b/c the children in Kazakhstan are so precious and so deserving but I can not recommend adoption from Kazakhstan unless you are ready to deal with the coruption of their government, and complicated process.  We do not say this based on our experience alone.  We didn't meet a single family in all our time in Kaz who had a smooth journey. I sadly don't think it's possible to have a smooth adoption these days in Kaz.  However, we found the people not related to the adoption process very lovely and kind.  We felt safe there at all times and enjoyed the experience of living in another country for some time.  We pray pray pray that Kaz cleans up and refines their adoption process b/c it's a beautiful country with beautiful people and wonderful children. 

Reflections on Ava:
Perfection!  With all the special needs she has, the therapy and obstacles that lie ahead for our little one, I still see her as absolute perfection.  She has the sweetest spirit and strong will all at the same time.  She is funny and caring, respectful, affectionate, beautiful, and smart.  I couldn't be more proud of her.  She is so much more than everything we hoped and prayed for.  

Overall this experience is one we obviously wouldn't trade for the world. It lead us to our precious daughter.  It also allowed us to meet friends from all around the world.  I know that we will be connected to these wonderful families for life.   

Ok, that's enough reflecting for now.  I wanted to be sure to get all these thoughts out before the adoption experience is too far removed.  I wrote a lot but still could have written more!  If anyone in the adoption process has questions for us we are always open to sharing about exactly what we experienced during our adoption.  We are an open book!   
I'm trying to post pictures of our little lady but I can't seem to get the blog to work at the moment.  Those will be up shortly!  Love from the Letterneaus :-)